The fact of the matter is… I used to be okay at writing… I went back the other day and read some entries that I had written… and it made me remember and feel what I was going through at the time…
Somewhere along the way, especially within the last few months, I quit turning to writing as a way to vent and explain what was going on in my life. Part of the reason for that could be that when I was writing was when I was living out west and I had more time on my hands and a computer that worked… now, I seem to have little or no time and a dead computer…
Maybe it's that I'm lazy… maybe I just don't want to let people in… maybe it's just that I don't have anything worthwhile to say…
Today I'm at least going to make an attempt… I read this once and it kind of stuck with me… it's a better description of what I'm feeling than what I could put into words…
"Writer's block is just a symptom of feeling like you have nothing to say, combined with the rather weird idea that you SHOULD feel the need to say something.
Why? If you have something to say, then say it. If not, enjoy the silence while it lasts. The noise will return soon enough. In the meantime, you're better off going out into the big, wide world, having some adventures and refilling your well. Trying to create when you don't feel like it is like making conversation for the sake of making conversation." – Hugh McLeod, www.gapingvoid.com
But for those of you who like small talk – here it is…
I started working at ClearView on June 1. It quickly turned from a job to ministry (even though it is still a normal Monday through Friday 9-6 job…) to the biggest part of my life… my normal work time, a good chunk of my "free time" and all my volunteer time was quickly wrapped up in a group of students who I have grown to adore like no other kids ever… reality is, I don't take the time to write because my plate is full without trying to find words to explain where I am… for the first time, in a really long time, I'm consumed with where I am and trying to be all here rather than looking for the next step… and I'm trying to learn the art of preparing for tomorrow's journey while completely living today's… I am sure that this is not the last place I'll be, but for right now, it's where I am… and I couldn't ask for a better resting place in the journey…
And that's going to be all for now… there may be shorter "funner" posts to come, but for now… I just needed to get that out…
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